Dragomir the Guard

Dragomir is a guard in Castle ___________. One of many such guards, he is consistently considered the worst of the worst by his captain. His inability and unwillingness to act as an effective guard may contribute to his meagre standing. His desire to be a writer, and possession of a diary, has turned him into the primary narrator for Dragomir's Diary. Dragomir is married to Libby the Carpenter. Together they have a daughter, Eve the Warrior.

Dragomir has a penchant for getting into trouble, whether he goes looking for it or not. In his few years working in Castle ___________ he's lured a fellow guardsman to his doom, unleashed a sporific plague on the populace, embarked on a near-fatal journey to a distant land to find a cure, collaborated in the shaving of his king's head, and n early been eaten by a pack of werewolves. Among other things.

Dragomir is afflicted by a strange disorder that prevents him from carrying a weapon. The second he considers an item to be a weapon, he can no longer hold it. This problem is so severe that even strapping a weapon to parts of his body will cause his clothes to fall off. The reason for this abnormality is a mystery to all, including Dragomir.

Dragomir's hygiene is questionable. He's been caught picking his nose on multiple occasions, and whenever he's prevented with a dangerous or nerve-wracking situation he pees his pants. The latter tendency surrounds his clothing with an ever-present stale smell.